Today as I was making breakfast with my son Lincoln I was reminded how important it is to spend one on one time with our kids.
It’s so easy to only see them as little people roaming around. Our kids, no matter what age, have personalities, interests, and dreams just like we do, and it’s our responsibility as parents and adults to invest in them.
By spending 30 minutes of one on one time with Lincoln today, I discovered how much he loves to help me cook. He has a genuine interest in it. I also saw how very passionate he is about electronic music. He has invested time learning facts about the bands and artists he likes and bubbled over with excitement to tell and teach me something I didn’t know.
My daughter Autumn cares deeply for people and loves to read and play soccer. I see a lot of myself in her (except the sporty part! lol), and that makes me so proud.
If I didn’t spend time with my kids and carefully listen to them, I would miss these precious moments, time wisely invested, to learn from them and to teach them.
As a childcare provider, I can easily recognize in children as young as 2, 3, and 4-years-old their interests and passions – what genuinely excites them.
Children need parents and other adults to pay attention to what they are saying and doing. They need encouragement to pursue their dreams. So take some time this weekend to spend with your kids, your niece, nephew, or cousins. Let them talk, let them teach, let them be themselves.
Fast forward ………….
It’s been about five years since I originally wrote the above post. My kids are now teenagers, 17 and 13.
If any of you have or have had teenagers you know how short their attention span is when it comes to quality time with parents. Sometimes my husband and I jokingly question if they even like spending time with us at all. The world of friends, music, TV and video games has taken over most, if not all, of their attention and it sometimes feels like quality time has to come with a bribe of ice cream or an iced coffee.
Recently after my husband and I talked about our dissatisfaction with our family time, we implemented mandatory biweekly family time. One of my favorite things that we started doing was “check-ins.” We take time to go around and each of us shares a positive and a negative thing that’s going on in our lives. This is so important because it not only teaches my kids to share about the good but also to be open about struggles. My kids need to hear me talk about the good things but also to know that I have struggles too. It allows room for rejoicing through the good times and also to encourage through the difficult times.
My quality time looks different than it did before but it’s just as important to be intentional about spending time with them, listening to them, and actually hearing them. Quality time and relationships are a crucial part of shaping your kids into who they grow up to be. If my kids grow up and move out and remember that they were loved, heard, and cared for I’ll consider my job as a parent successful!
The Lanza Family
Heather Lanza, Guest Blogger
Here’s an IMPORTANT and ENCOURAGING Video FOR YOU to Watch!
Remember – How the most important people in our lives treated us as kids does not have to be the way we choose to treat OUR children.
Jonathan League; LPCC, LICDC
Jonathan is a family therapist specializing in helping kids, teens, and their families. He has been professionally counseling families for over 20 years. Jonathan conducts live workshops for parents with children and teens who struggle with: anxiety, depression, addiction, trauma, and defiant behavior.
For more information, go to jonathanleague.com or visit him on Facebook